On the 27th April 2013, I gave birth to my baby boy Alfie Martin. Born by emergency c-section at 12-41am weighing 8lb3oz. It wasn't the most straight forward but he was safe, that's all that mattered to me.
I found out I was pregnant at 9weeks&5days and the pregnancy was very straight forward up until I passed the 40week mark. At my 38week appointment, my blood pressure was up and I had protein in my wee so I got sent up to the hospital, I was monitored and everything was fine. So the last two weeks carried on as normal, at my 40week appointment my blood pressure was high again. She measured my bump and then checked my blood pressure again and said it had gone down again! My body was playing tricks on us. So I went on my way. Alfie's due date came and went, no twinges no nothing. I had a sweep at 40+7, and she booked me in for my induction. I think I was in denial about the whole thing, I didn't really believe that I had a baby in there. Even though I could feel his movements and I bought everything, I just felt like I was in a dream. My sweep wasn't too bad, was a little uncomfortable but nothing to worry about. I didn't really think my sweep did much at the time but I went into labour 3days later.
I woke in labour, I woke up having pains but didn't even think it was labour. I tried to get back to sleep and I did manage to for half an hour and then woke with the same pains. They were like 3minutes apart these pains and they were getting stronger. The pains were in my back which made me think it wasn't labour just really bad backache. After I got up and had been to the toilet a few times I noticed blood, I was very scared! And it kept coming, bits at a time. I thought it might have been my mucus plug but it was too bloody for my liking so I rang the ante-natal assessment centre they weren't busy so told me to come up and just have a once over. The car ride was the most horrible I had ever been on, I know why now though because I WAS in labour!!
We got there and they hooked me up to the monitor straight away, they kept coming in and checking and then leaving us. I was on the monitor for about 2hours and a half, during this time the monitor kept flashing at me like something was wrong but then recovering. I was abit worried and did mention this to the midwife and she said that the monitor was losing contact, that was good enough for me she knew what she was doing, right!?! Wrong!! Just as she was about to take me off the machine started flashing and started beeping and she frantically got me off the monitor and shouted for someone to get me a wheelchair. She said she had to get us up to the labour ward immediataly. She shouted for someone else to ring the labour ward, it was all so quick and frantic all these people running around me so I started shaking uncontrollably, crying and finding it hard to catch my breath. The midwife was actually running with my wheelchair, we got to the labour ward and they took me straight to a room, hooked me back up as quick as possible. Thankfully, everything was ok again but they only realised at the labour ward that I was contracting every 3mins and was 3cm dilated when they checked me. I thought to my self this isn't too bad, I thought contractions would be worse.
For hours and hours I just sat there reading magazines,chatting to my bf, staring out my room window at the beautiful Lincoln Cathedrel. It was quite relaxing. Not forgetting bouncing on my beloveded birthing ball. After a while my contractions were getting quite painful and when I hooked back up to the monitor Alfie's heart rate was low again.
They broke my waters, which just looked like poo, poor Alfie was in distress. Seeing that made me sick, I was just getting so worried about my boy. A doctor ran in and told me that he needed to prick Alfie's head to get some blood to make sure he was getting enough oxygen, it took an hour or so to get a blood sample but it came back that Alfie was fine. They checked how much dilated I was at around 9pm and I was 7cm!! I was so proud of myself. I was getting uncomfortable by this point so I asked if I could have an epidural, they told me that I didn't really need one because I had got so far and would have my baby soon but I insisted that I wanted one so they gave in. Even though there actually was no point because when the monitor got put back on after putting my epidural in Alfie's heart rate was very dangerously low like seriously low that they needed to get him out. And my heart rate was very high, it just wasn't an ideal situation really. About 10doctors came in reading my notes and discussing my situation, they checked how dilated I was and I had gone down from 7cm to 6cm- one of them asked me if I was willing to have a section I told them to get him out. I was very upset and my whole body was shaking, I don't know if it had something to do with my heart rate or me getting worried but my boyfriend told me it was very scary and it looked like I was having a fit. My midwife and my boyfriend got scrubs on and we was wheeled down to theatre.
This bit is always such a blur when I try to remember but I know it was freezing cold and looked very old and they had the radio on. I kept asking if I was going to die, I know very dramatic aren't i!! I had never had an operation or even been to the doctors much before pregnancy so this was like a whole new world to me and I hear horror stories so I was really scared. My boyfriend was crying because I was I think and he knew Alfie just couldn't cope and neither could i. A sheet got put up to my chest and all the midwives were chatting to me, and I just asked if they had started and my boyfriend told me they started about 5mins ago, I was like oooh ok, I didn't even realise. I saw my baby a few minutes later, he didn't cry- he choked and the he was fine. He still didn't cry. He was so chilled out- looking at the lights and my bf. I wish I saw him properly when he was born!! They showed me him but I can't actually remember properly. He was kicking away- even at seconds old he didn't stay still. Eyes wide open- looking at everything and everyone. No one could believe how alert he was considering he had just been born. The midwives said he looked like a 3month old!!!
After all the stiching up and doing what they needed to do, they wheeled me back to my room and Zach pushed Alfie in his little plastic cot. They gave me him as soon as we got in and just stared at him all night!
My happy bonding time with my baby was short lived when a midwife came and told me she cut her finger while carrying out my cesarean so I needed various blood tests and a catheter in my hand for anti-biotics! Ace.. I was so drugged up, I didn't even flinch I just sat there chatting away to my baby and boyfriend. After they had finished messing about with needles they left us alone. Zach went to sleep and i just sat at stared at my baby from about1in the morning till7. The time flew, and Zach woke up and asked me why I hadn't got him taken off me so I could go to sleep. I didn't want to sleep, I was so happy just holding my baby and watching the sun coming up over Lincoln. I was hoping that day I would be able to at least go to down to the post natal ward but they wouldn't let me because I hadn't eaten anything And my blood pressure was extremely high so I just sat in that room all day. Zach left to have a shower and get changed and come back later on, I didn't want him to go and I roared like a baby. Even Alfie never cried like I did! I just was scared of being on my own, I couldn't move, I was stuck in bed and I couldn't lean to get a drink or put my baby down or even pick him up. My body just couldn't move. I lost my midwife buzzer at one point and Alfie was crying, I couldn't get him out his plastic cot and I couldn't reach my buzzer so I tried to sit up but my body felt really heavy and I couldn't physically. After 5mins of trying to move, the midwife came in and asked if I was ok. I told her I couldn't find my buzzer and that Alfie was crying. She gave me Alfie and I breastfed him.
The midwives were brilliant really, they came every 10mins to check my blood pressure. But it wasn't going down. I wouldn't eat or drink. So I had to be fed through a drip.
Zach went home that night again and I roared. I was scared, he left his number at the midwives station incase they needed to contact him incase anything happened. He obviously knew something I didn't? I didn't think I was that ill but I must have been.. again I couldn't reach Alfie and he was crying. I had my buzzer this time so I rang it. I asked them to give me Alfie and they did. I tried breastfeeding him but he didn't seem to be latching on, I think I was so tired that I wasn't patient and the midwives could tell I was stressed. She asked me if I wanted them to feed him by a cup. I hadn't slept since the Friday and it was now the Sunday. I hadn't eaten or drank anything either since Thursday tea time so they tried to get me to go to sleep at least but I couldn't. They took Alfie to feed him by a cup (they did this so he didn't start latching onto a bottle teat) i didn't sleep though, Zach had bought me cards for the tele so I watched teIe and managed to fall asleep for an hour or so.
I woke up when the midwife came to check my blood pressure, it was still high. The midwife had to go get the doctor and the doctor told me that I needed to eat and drink something as that might help my body get back on track. I had a bite of a cheese and tomato sandwich and was sick. The midwife came to chat to me about Alfie and told me that when she was feeding him they noticed he was abit yellow-y so they took him and put him under a light. I didn't even know they did this til the next day!! I was so angry with myself that I couldn't do what I needed to do.
That day a lady came to do Alfie's newborn checks, she said she could hear a slight heart murmur so needed to take him up to the special baby unit to give him proper checks. She took him and I just sat there staring into space, he was gone for an hour and they told me he was a really good boy. All his checks we're fine and they were very happy with him so that also helped me lower my stress levels.
The doctor that told me to eat came back that afternoon and asked me if I had eaten.. Nope. She did a CT scan on my chest and the results were fine. They were so confused as to why my blood pressure was high, I didn't look ill and I felt absolutely fine. They rang the X-ray department and asked if I could have a X-ray. I went down that tea time and the x ray results were back within an hour. Everything was fine. They checked my blood pressure again and it had gone down slightly. Still high but lower than it was so they said I could go down to the post natal ward, I went down there the next morning. I felt a million times better after I had moved to the next ward, that delivery room was making me stressed and after being up there for 3days It felt lovely to have a change of scenery! Over that day my blood pressure was getting lower, they were pleased with my progress. I managed to get myself out of bed that day too and could finally change my sons nappy and pick him up and put him down with no hassle. I couldn't stand up straight but that's expected if you've had an operation on your body.
That day, I had visitors. My family and my boyfriends family. They wanted to see me on the Saturday but in the state I was in the midwives said it's best to wait and not to put stress on myself. They came on the Monday. They loved him so much and had cuddles. Just before my dad was supposed to be visiting us, my scar was leaking.. I'm not sure what it was. It wasn't blood. They changed my dressing and I was ready for visitors. It was quite nice to see my family but I don't think they liked seeing me how I was. I was just sat in my bed not saying much. And as white as a ghost.
I really desperately wanted to go home but they wouldn't let me, everyone on my ward came and went. And I just stayed there. I hated being on a ward with everyone else, my boyfriend said he would buy me a private room but they were £60 a night and I was hoping I would be going home soon so I grinned and beared it.
On the Tuesday I was allowed to go home, 4whole days since I arrived I was finally allowed to leave. We had to wait around for all my drugs I needed to take which wasn't till after tea but I was so happy that I got told I was allowed to go home that I ate and drank that day and looked loads more human. It's more of a mind thing, if I tell myself I'm ok then I am. Me and the bf got all my stuff packed up, yes there was lots of stuff!! We sat on the bed and watched abit of tele too! The physio came to check my tummy and told me to do stomach exercises when I get home so my muscles can close up and had abit of paper work to fill in.
When they came to give me my drugs I was so happy, I could go home yay!!!! We got Alfie in his pram suit and popped him in his car seat and waited for our lift. Our life was beginning with our baby, and I couldn't have been happier!